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Thank you sir, may I have another

Let’s go down the list and see how one Party rule has served the American populace. I will underline the correct answer.

Foreign affairs?
Excellent Good Okay Mediocre Bad Worse than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick [1]

Domestic economy?
Excellent Good Okay Mediocre Bad Like salt in an open wound [2] (see poke-in-eye-with-stick above)

Civil liberties?
Excellent Good Okay Mediocre Bad On the presumed advice of the lawyer that I am not allowed to consult, no comment. Now, Mr. CIA interrogator, please don’t rub salt into my eye that you just poked with a sharp stick! [3]

Environment?
Excellent Good Okay Mediocre Bad Hell in a handbasket; or, like an Abu Ghraib for the whole planet [4]

Of course, it’s not all bad. But I just don’t have the vast free time it takes to research what the good news is. You’ll just have to trust me.