In case you weren’t already made aware by the media frenzy running rampant across the green bolognasphere, today is Earth Day. So, we here at Chelsea Green have only one question for you…What are you still doing at your desk?! Get up! Go! Walk out of the office and go enjoy the natural world! I give you permission. You weren’t meant to spend your life indoors, “being productive,” working at a desk, staring at an electronic screen! You were meant to work with nature, grow your own food, build your own shelter, travel…on foot!

We, as a people, have lost our connection to the Earth. We spend all day inside, or in a car, which we park inside, and walk into our climate controlled homes…safe from our scary neighbors. The climate troubles we’re experiencing, the unnatural arrogance we’re displaying, the stress we’re carrying, and the disconnectedness we suffer through all stem from the fact that we’re living unnatural, disconnected lives. Today, Earth Day, should not be a day devoted to guilting you into living a life more in-line with a marketer’s idea of the “green lifestyle.” It should be a day celebrating (and re-establishing) our natural connection to the Earth. We should be learning and understanding WHY we should build sustainable lives, not only HOW.

So, in the interest of helping you reconnect with the Earth, I’ve put together this quick list of recommendations for how to celebrate Earth Day. Do them in order. Optional where noted.

1. Look out your window.
2. Stand up. Leave your desk.
3. Run out of your office, screaming, “I’m going to my garden! You drones can’t stop me!”
4. Flip off your boss. (Mooning optional.)
5. Stop running. Apologize. Continue running.
6. Drive to your garden (if you have one) or the nearest park (if there is one) or to West Virginia (if you live in New Jersey).
7. Find a rock. Threaten your cellphone with it. (So it REALLY knows you hate it.)
8. Find a spot in the sunshine and lie down in the grass. Away from the highways. Away from the city.
9. Breathe. Slowly.
10. Dig your hands in the dirt.
11. Contemplate your food. Your shelter. Your family. Your time left on Earth.
12. Contemplate your job.
13. Take cell phone picture of your middle finger. Send it to your boss.
14. Sleep in the sunshine.

From all of us ne’er-do-wells at Chelsea Green: Enjoy your Earth Day!

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